Last modified: May 29 2007 10:27:52
Phrases That Piss Me Off
Times It By
It pisses me off when I'm in school, a teacher asks a question and an asshole says "Oooooo!!! I know how to do that. You have to times it by 4." Even worse, the past tense: "To get that answer, I timesed it by 15" Timesd is not a word you friggin idiots. This is an example of the most unprofessional idiodic statement I have ever heard. It sounds so ridiculous it's not even funny and that's why this pisses me off the most out of the following phrases. If you're in my prescence, and you don't want me to get pissed off, make sure you say "Multiply it by" or "Multiplied it by" I'm not an English teacher and don't inted to correct everyone's grammar, but this is one thing that makes you sound like an asshole.
That may or may not be the case
Don't you EVER, EVER pull this one off on me. If I am asking you something, I expect an answer, not a stupid lawyer statement. All this tells me is that you heard my choices and are stating them back to me. I friggin know what I said and expect an answer.
Me: "Hey Jack, you're [name's] best friend. Is it true that [name] fell down yesteday and broke his ass?"
Jack: "This may or may not be true"
Me: "What the f*** are you talking about? That's what I'm asking, and I want you to answer You took [name] to the hospital. You know the answer..."
That's Your Opinion
No shit Sherlock. If I say something that sound opinionated, you don't need to tell me it was my opinion. You are free to think whatever you want. Just because I am thinking something different, doesn't mean you have to tell me it is my opinion. Asshole.
Your Mom
Ok, I'll admit, when we were all younger it was pretty funny. But now, it's old. People who have no lives (aka Greg Shallo) think it's a hysterical comeback to say things that include the infinate "your mom statements." Then he came up to me snickering and was like "That was good, right?" Let me tell you something. Not it was not good. Second of all, grow the fuck up and get real insults...
"No Offense But..." or "Sorry to say it but..."
If any of those statements are followed by an insult, then the person means the insult. It's just a stupid ass oxymoronic statement made up by some legal asshole. If the person did not intend to offend you, that person should shut their fucking mouth and not say anything at all.
Fo Shizzle
Neither "Fo" nor "Shizzle" are in the dictionary. Just because some Snoop character says it, DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE SNOOP. So if you're not, then don't friggin say it.
Huh?
Please don't say huh... Even if you do not know what someone is talking about, ask in another way. Saying Huh makes an intelligent person look like an idiot.
"Like" "Um" and "What Do You Call it"
I hate assholes that give a speech or talk in public who say um or like every five words. It makes you sound like an ass. Don't say it. If you are silent for a moment, people will realize you are thinking and will understand your silence. You don't need to ad an um to let them know. Plus, it distracts you more to say um instead of getting to the point. If you need a longer moment to think, say "One minute I have to think" and remain silent.
As far as "What do you call it...." I have no problem with this if you forgot the name of something and you say it. But please, do not say that excessively, especially if it is being used to replace um...
My Bad
Yes, another annoying statement. What's wrong with sorry, my mistake or my error?
No Problem
I do not have anything against no problem. But when you thank someone, what's wrong with saying "you're welcome?" I never mentioned a problem, but did a nice favor, therefore, it's you're welcome.