Portfolioso.com Guide to Walking in the halls

I am so happy I'm in college and this doesn't apply to me anymore, because it used to kill me. Aparently, people are incapable of walking in the hallways. It drives me completely nuts when I'm late to a class due to other people's stupidity and screwing around in the hallways. So I decided to write this guide to teach all the incompetents how to walk in the hallways without disrupting the flow of traffic.

Dos and Dont's

  • DO NOT stop and abruptly turn around - I hate when idiots just stop abruptly and you almost go flying into them. Then, they turn around and stare at you blankly and yell at you for being in their way. Those idiots are in MY way, I'm not in theirs.

  • DO NOT walk with 3 or more friends in a straight line - Isn't it horrible when you're trying to get to a class on the opposite wing of the school and you're stuck behind a moving blockade of people who take up the whole hallway? Well, it's not fun at all. If you say excuse me, they pretty much ignore you and continue crawling, oblivious to their surroundings.

  • DO NOT gather around people's lockers - This is disgusting and sickens me. The point of lockers is to pack up and leave. When mass groups gather around lockers, it clogs up the hallways. There are better places to meet people other than lockers. For instance, the library, outside, or anywhere else where you're not interfering with society.

  • DO NOT stop to talk to friends in halls or on steps - It is very irritating when one person is walking in one direction and another person is walking in the other direction and they see each other and decide to stop and have a conversation. Most likely, the halls are crowded because people are at their lockers and it's single file. Therefore, if two people stop to chat, the entire hallway is impassible. Can't you talk elsewhere you obnoxious fools? Is your conversation that important to block people from passing? Tell them later, or in an area that doesn't block the hall.

  • DO NOT Block Doors - Please be aware that there are some double doors located around the school. This is the worst possible place to stop because it's the most narrow. I hate when there are people standing and chatting casually in a doorway and others need to get through. Then, two way traffic is forced through one door. This is nuts. It causes the worst possible backup. Can't you fools find a better place to stop other than doorways?

  • DO NOT Scoot around corners - I've seen this happen many times when people race around corners and WHAM, they slam into someone else. It would be wise to walk away from the corners of two joining wings, this way you can see who's coming. If you can't see, then don't stay close to the wall. Unless they have big mirrors on the ceiling that you can check (which they don't,) then you should not be walking along the edge of the wall. Trust me on this one, you don't want to slam into someone.

  • Walk to the Right Side of the Hall/ Steps - Simple, lets follow simple road rules so the halls aren't like a bunch of rats running around. I'm not saying to be perfect, but in general, this is what normal people should do.

  • Multitask - If you are talking to someone in the hall, walk while you're doing it. People seem to have problems with the walking part and when they see their friends, they stop and talk, usually in the most crowded place that causes the most problems.

  • Be aware - Yes, you should know what's going on when you walk. Being in dreamland will not help you. Watch out for other's stupidity, so you won't cause any more problems.

  • Learn How To Use Doors - Traditionally, we open doors by pushing the handle down and pulling the door (or turning the knob and pulling). If the door has that bar thing, you push it - it's really that simple. However people have not mastered the use of the door and stand there trying to figure out how to open it, thus backing up traffic. Note about the Library Doors - If you're facing the library, the right door does not open. Please understand that. Use the left one. The situation got so bad with the library doors that the librarians were forced to put up instructions:

    stupid morons

Areas at EHS to Avoid

  • The Second Floor at 2:26 - Ugh just awful. Everyone is at their lockers and standing around, walking wherever they want and taking up space. It takes forever to get from one end to the other.

  • Middle School Stampede - This only applies to the people who take music and go to band or chorus, because they need to enter the middle school. At the same time the middle school kids are getting out of lunch. It's like 10 people walking agaisnt a crowd of 200 people.

  • The Cafeteria (Right after Lunch Ends) - It's a stampede. Need I say more? This also applies to the Math classroom area...

  • The Elevator - Unless you are handicapped, have a broken leg, are a mail carrier with a large delivery, a custodian or are a very old Spanish teacher (I need not mention names), DON'T use the elevator. People tend to crowd around it and use it. First off all, that's a horrible elevator. It's slow. Second of all, chances are you are fat, because America has an obesity problem. So walk up the stairs you lazy bastard. And I'll kindly refer you to my diet page

  • The corridor that leads to the gym - Horrible, because it's so narrow. Especially when a gym class is getting out and another is entering.

Conclusion

Overall, people cannot walk in halls without being an idiot. This does not apply to all. The hallways vary by days. Somedays everyone's drunk and others, there is no problem. Sometimes, even teachers break these simple guidelines. Anyway, my point is that these can make people late for class and cause other issues. If everyone would follow the above guidelines, the flow would be better, making everything more efficient.